Wednesday, 15 May 2013

• 

  A Reminder

  Last week was, perhaps, my most social week of three years in southern California -- certainly since returning here in the fall.

  I went to life group as usual on Wednesday night, but then when I told Brock2 I had to leave afterward for a needed run at my gym, he offered:

  "Wanna go for a run with me through the neighborhood instead?"

  I'm a man of rigidity and routine, but despite 1.7 seconds of hesitation, I said yes to his request. And so I ran with B2 instead that night. And then walked/talked with him for an hour about my intense male longings in the aftermath of my book's release.

  Gosh.

  On Friday, I met up for lunch with one of the other male group leaders, and I got to have my first heart-to-heart with him since the big "coming out" last month. It was good. Somewhat awkward articulating my emotions of the last month, but a solid start in my continued friendship with him. We've had a slow, gradual journey of friendship in the last year. He's solid.

  Give it time, and I'm sure he'll get an elite nickname on this blog.

  That night, I went to dinner with that same guy and 3 girls from our life group. Such a random yet beautiful evening with the 4 of them. A chance to learn about siblings and nationalities and summer hopes. Afterward, we had a run-in with a homeless guy our age, and I blogged about that crazy event on my other blog. So nuts.

  Humanity is beautiful.

  Saturday afternoon, I went for a bike ride on the beach with another life group member. I have a special bond with this guy, because I actually invited him to life group in the fall after sitting next to him at a Sunday night service.

  He was the first guy I EVER invited to my life group. Up until that moment, I don't know that I ever even consciously stated, "This is MY life group." As in, I'm allowed to bring people each week since I am, in fact, part of the group and not just witnessing the action from the sidelines.

  He's a pretty easy-going guy with a bit of a heavy history, and along with the blessing of an hour-long conversation, a windy ride along the Pacific coast wasn't too shabby either. Such a refresher, physically and emotionally.

  Finally, Saturday night Brock2 texted me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to see a movie with him. His fiancee was out of town for the weekend, so I guess he was feeling a little lonely.

  I was doing my usual isolated/introverted writing routine that night, but of course I had to say yes. As with the random night-run request. I'm learning to be more spontaneous.

  Guys. Me.

  Spontaneous.

  Can you imagine?

  I caught a movie with him, and I was reminded why I love this guy so much. He's so emotional, and that's amazing BECAUSE SO AM I. He teared up at the end of the movie, and we talked about the story on the way home --

  -- except we didn't go home. We passed by a late-night coffee shop I'd never been to, so once again SPONTANEITY won the night as we pulled over and had hot chocolate on the patio, and he opened up some deep things from his past and then I did the same, and I cried in his presence, and he leaned his head on my shoulder and prayed for me, and then we went home and listened to music in his car, and then we hugged the greatest hug we've ever shared in a City Hall parking lot (even better than the baptism hugs of a year ago), and then I finally drove home.

  At 2:30am.

  I don't recap my social week out of pride (which probably isn't as "social" as some of your guys' usual weekly schedules anyway, but HEY this is crazy new territory for me).

  No, I recap my social week as a reminder.

  A reminder for myself.

  That I have people here who love me. And I love them.

  And how dare I forget this truth so often throughout the week.

  May I not forget. And may I dive deeper with these precious people.

  Despite the scary temptation to flee.

  EPILOGUE: I'm supposedly meeting Brocky-Brock (the Original) for coffee on Saturday. He seems to be in a tough spot in life, debating whether to continue living here in SoCal or moving to the Midwest. I have NO idea how this interaction will go. Should I be relieved he might be leaving? Saddened? Intimidated over what to say? Confused?

  The saga continues.

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