Saturday, 24 October 2009
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One Year Ago
Me oh my crayfish pie, lo and behold, today is my birthday!
My Xanga birthday, that is. I've been eyeing this 24th day of October all month long, wondering what exactly I would say. A fellow blogger also recently celebrated his one-year birthday/anniversary on Xanga and did a line-by-line comparison of his life from his first entry a year ago to his life today. Mighty clever, I must say.
I thought about doing something similar for this special post o' mine, but rather than go through my first entry line-by-line, I'll simply allow you the easily accessible opportunity of glancing back with me. Click here for that thrill ride. Ah, the memories...
I look at my life today and my life a year ago and see some glaring differences - many good (great, even), and some, well, not-so-good. Oddly enough, one year ago I had a better grip (...wrong word, perhaps) on masturbation than I do today. Same goes with the lovely viewing material I had some trouble with several weeks back. To date, the second half of 2008 remains the "purest" stretch of time I've ever had with regard to this struggle. I'm not sure why this year has been harder for me to stay pure. Even after attending the Exodus conference in July.
And yet despite currently struggling with P/M more than I did a year ago, I've been incredibly blessed by this online community of brothers. I don't say it enough in these posts, and I know I don't talk with you guys one-on-one enough, but I want you each to know that I deeply treasure your input, your encouragement, your prayers, and your friendship. A year ago I knew none of you - which is such a wild thought. Now, I can't imagine my life today without having come across this incredible community. From Xanga to Facebook to ZOMGREALLYFE at Exodus, it's been an absolute pleasure getting to know each of you. And I sincerely pray I'll get to know y'all better in the coming year. As well as come across some new faces.
Take a moment to pray for these newcomers. They're out there, searching...somewhere...
A year ago my life was a whole lot more structured than it is now. I was in my second-to-last semester of college, busy with classes and blessed to have a steady job on campus. One year later, I have neither of those two things. I'm certainly grateful for no longer having to deal with the former (...for now, anyway...), but I'm anxious about no longer possessing the latter. I've applied at various places around the city, but have yet to hear back from anyone. I still have a little bit of money saved away, but it will only last me to the end of the year, tops. Plus, I have to start paying student loans in December. So...I need a job. Again, your prayers would be quite welcomed right now.
One year ago I was writing stories for a creative writing class; one year later, I'm writing a novel. Pretty crazy. As a general update for those of you that may not know, I've already finished my first draft and gone ahead and made most of the major changes that needed to be made upon looking over it. I'm now almost one-third of the way through my second draft as I twist and tweak various little things here and there. I hope to finish this thang by year's end. And then start looking into publishing...yikes.
So, I'm kinda "floating" right now, but I'm trusting God. Which brings me to this last topic...
I just wanna close this special entry with a reminder to you all that God is faithful. Recently I'd been reading and hearing a lot about "the Name of God." Two or three mornings in a row during my quiet time, I'd read about God's Name being described as a "strong tower" (Proverbs 18:10) among other such comforting/rescuing things. And then when I went to church on Sunday (for the first time in nearly a month due to vacationing and sickness), what did my pastor start preaching about? The Name of God. Of course.
I've found that God speaks to me a lot through things "aligning" like that. The other day I had been thinking about the song, "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, and suddenly I got a random "chain-text" from a friend with that exact song playing in the background. Another time I heard a song at church that I hadn't heard in years, years, years, and after mentioning it on Facebook, another friend said she'd just heard the same song herself for the first time in years at her church. Just one of those great, random things. Gentle reminders.
I've never really thought about the Name of God as being more than just that: a name."Hey Justin!"
"Hey Sally!"
"Hey...God..."
But God's Name holds so much power. It's more than a Name. It's His character. His reputation. His unceasing faithfulness. Said David of the uber-scary Goliath, "The LORD, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine" (I Samuel 17:37). I dig David. Whereas the Israelite army and even his own brothers rebuked him, scared to death of this nine-foot wonder, it was so ridiculously clearly black-and-white for young David: God had been faithful so many times before. Why would He walk away from His children now?
(Spoiler: Goliath died.)
You guys have been so encouraging to me this past year, and I hope I've been able to offer just an ounce of that back to you in return. 2008-2009 has been quite interesting. Lots of ups...lots of downs. But through it all, He is faithful. And I can't wait to see what 2009-2010 brings.
I hope you'll continue along with me in this crazy venture of life in the many years to come. We will overcome...by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11).
Blessings upon blessings,tom
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Comments (13)
Thanks for visiting my page in xangaland. I hope my artwork spoke to you. I believe in the healing power of the arts because, to me, it is an act of worship to our heavenly father. Your post was very reflective and thought provoking for me. I believe that being able to reflect on one's own live gives purpose to it. We can see where we have been and where we are going. It enables us to set a vision for our life. And with this vision, will are more likely to stay on the narrow road. If I had broadband, I would watch your videos. At present I am still on dial up as it is very cheap. I get it free from the university I attend.
Take Care & God Bless
Tom, it is my privilege to know you. You have been a great blessing this past year. I look forward to knowing you and being influenced by you for many more. Much love to you as my brother in Christ.
TOMMY!
I sort of feel like I've come on this xanga train with you. Good good times. You are such a gifted writer. Full of unique ways to communicate what is on your mind. You are creative, thoughtful and gifted.
Also...I want to know how lanky beard guy is doing. haha.
Seriously though Tom. It is good to have you around. I appreciate your honesty and your earnest seeking of the Lord. It's inspiring.
-drew
Hang in there. We have to grow into this life, and it takes time. You're just beginning the largest part of your life, so pay very close attention to what you are doing and where you are going.
Count the cost, always think about the consequences. What you allow to happen in your life may become an area of terrible bondage in the future. What are the habits you need to cultivate in your life so you walk toward ever greater freedom in your life? Not everything will be clear, but you know many of the things you don't want to have to deal with in the future, so deal with those things early.
If you truly belong to Christ then just don't give up, and you can't fail. Falling is something you'll do, but getting up is the cure for failure. When you fall, repent, get up, press forward, forgetting what would hold you down.
Happy one-year Xanga anniversary. I enjoy reading your insights and reflections. God bless.
@smith_drew - Alas, I don't hear much from Lanky Beard Guy these days! I sure do miss the days of blogging about him though.
Thanks for those words, my friend. It's been great riding this "train" with you this past year. You inspire me with the way you communicate your thoughts and experiences as well. Love you man.
@carleton1958 - Love you Jeff! I so admire your leadership among this Xanga and Facebook community. Looking forward to learning from you for years to come.
@Nifty_Boy - @The_Strugglers_Place - @abide1 - Thanks everyone. Always love the input and encouragement here.
I neglected to mention this in my post, but I just wanted to re-emphasize that I always look forward to hearing from people. If you're reading "me" for the first time, I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to message me up, yo.
Tom,
I so look forward to your writings every week. It was because of people like you that I became a part of Xangaland, and though many of the original members have since moved on, it is people like you that make me glad that I stayed. I know I don't write no where near as much as I should on here, but know that I am very much right here with you and the others, praying and looking for ways to offer encouragement.
Blessings, my friend...
-Richard. :)
I forgot to say it's always great to read your stuff when you first posted this post. Keep on keeping on!
Chris
Tom, it's so awesome to see men like you and drew who have both grown and matured over the last year. It's been amazing knowing you, and man I can't wait to sit down with some of you guys over a beer (or coffee if that's more to your liking) and just talk about life.
Anyways, I'm getting distracted. Awesome to see you've come a long way, and you've still got a long ways to go yet, but keep on it! Just remember to keep your eyes focused on Christ.
Hi Tom. The Spirit of the Living God uses the best way to make contact with us that we will recieve. If we enjoy music, He will use music to get our attention; if we read, He will used words. Etcetera. Sometimes He will give us visions in our dreams. But the kicker is that we need to pay attention. If He continually sends messages to get our attention and we ignore them or gaff them off, then His "Voice" will become softer and softer, until we cannot "hear" Him at all.
You mentioned things aligning, these are not coincidences. Trust Him to deliver; Ask Him to reveal what He is trying to get across to you so that you can do it, and mean it when you say it, after all He does know our heart better than even we do.
Our life, is a constant struggle against our fleshly desires and spiritual forces that don't want us to "get right" with God. Our flesh is in direct opposition to what God desires for us, and the only way to overcome the flesh, the world and the forces of darkness, is to be covered by the grace of God. To be covered by the Blood of Jesus, which was shed, by grace, as a redeeming force, to make us right in the eyes of God so that we can enter into His presence and enter into His rest.
There is no confusion found in Christ. Submit to His authority, live for Him, trusting in His promises to you, and there is nothing that you cannot do - in Jesus' name, to the glory of Christ.
@mpwarren - Thank you for that amazingly encouraging comment. Really awesome stuff to think about.
God bless!
Hi Tom,
I just wanted to thank you.
By a simple random encounter with your Xanga I have decided to do the same and open up my struggle with others.
I appreciate the inspiration.
In prayer, your brother,
Aaron
@AngstyArtistAaron - So glad God could use my site to inspire you to take this step! So awesome.
Welcome to Xanga!!!